It’s middle February and I am sitting listening to a song about Christmas..
Why? It is a sweet Tim Michin tune – which among other things is about bringing your baby home to be passed around amongst your family and friends. Sitting in the sun and enjoying your relis.
W and I never get to bring Dunc home to be cuddled and held by everyone. It sucks. He deserved all the cuddles.
I guess time is moving slowly and quickly at once. We are working on picking our life back up. For W that means getting involved in work – for me it means finding some!
We are still sad – it will always be sad…it’s just trying to find ways to express ourselves and live with it. I’m not a fan of the idea that things like this were ‘meant to be’. Nobody is meant to have horrible crap happen to them, but it does all the same. I know it could be argued that terrible loss and major catastrophes in life help you appreciate what you have and all that jazz. But still, make that crap happen toÂ me..not my baby.
W watched Finding Nemo and he now calls it “the stupid fish movie” – which is fair enough because without what happened to us, that movie stupidly pulls on your heart strings.
Neither of us are particularly religious – so ideas about where Dunc is now are not super comforting. He is just gone. But it would be nice if he was sitting on a cloud with my Grandad somewhere… or reincarnated as a spoiled house cat… but best of all would be if he was still with us. Preferably without a dodgy tricuspid valve.
We will always wonder just how big he would have gotten. What colour his eyes and hair would have been. If he would have had W’s wit and amazingÂ laugh. I wonder what he would have got from me?
It is sad and painful for all of us who love you. I know you miss those little kicks in your belly. My babies were born many years ago and I still fondly remember that feeling.
Duncan is now part of our family story even tho we may not speak of him often. I think of him as being stardust once again.
I think D-man, (I’m sorry to admit this publicly) would’ve looked just like Wogan. A little splitting image of his Daddy, with these ginormous hands and feet! I think he’d have had a huge sensitive streak as well (the sensitive streak from his Mumma), which would’ve made him even more loveable.
I like to think there’s more after death, the alternative scares me and devastates me.
I loved reading your posts. Keep them coming 🙂
P.S. Did you see there is a sequel coming out to Finding Nemo called Finding Dory!!! xoxo